Be a Hater
Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.. ~ Luke 14:25-27
Something happened on October 18th, 2003 that broke the hearts of women all over the world. It was hard for them. All their dreams and aspirations for a wonderful life were crushed under the weight of a very real tragedy. You see… on that day in 2003, I got married. I was off the market. For life. Their chances for a life with me were instantly stolen. This one, insanely lucky woman, had won my heart. When I said yes to Carrie on my wedding day, I said no to every other woman on the planet. It was devastating for them.
I’m obviously being facetious… maybe. But this newly established relationship status, came something equally as powerful. Would it be appropriate for me to take other women out to dinner as long as I took Carrie out the most? Would it be ok if I bought other women chocolate and flowers on Valentine’s Day as long as I bought Carrie the MOST chocolate and BEST flowers? Obviously not. That’s just not appropriate.
When I said YES to Carrie I said NO to every other woman on the planet.
The fact is Carrie isn’t fighting anyone for my affection. She’s not working for my attention out of fear that someone else may win it. I have GIVEN her my full affection and ultimate attention. In the race for my love, she’s the only one on the track. She could walk, and still win. She could crawl, and have no worries. Heck, she could stand still, and no threat would present itself in the distance behind her. No one is in close second, distant third or last place. There is no one she’s competing with.
When we got married, she received exclusive rights to my love and devotion.
There aren’t many things in life that we give exclusive rights to. We aren’t Burger King only people. Sometimes we’re fixin’ for a Big Mac so McDonald’s gets our business. Sometimes a burrito supreme hits the spot, so we roll through the Taco Bell drive-thru. Sometimes we admit all of those places are garbage and avoid them at all costs, but it’s simply meant as an example that we rarely give ourselves exclusively to one company. We shop around. We look for the best deals. Even when we find something we like, we try other things every once in a while.
Jesus calls for exclusive rights to the lives of those that truly want to follow him.
Consider the fact that Jesus drops this bomb to a huge crowd. He’s picked up popularity. His name is spreading. His miracles are stirring rumors. People begin to follow him. Lot’s of people. Hundreds of people. And then he makes this statement. It’s not exactly a “ministry growing” statement. “Oh, so you want to be my followers? You’re impressed with the miracles I’m performing? Following me won’t be easy. I’m not going to share your affection. I’m not going to be your one of many…. I’m going to be your one and only. It’s all or nothing. If you’re not ok with that, you can’t be my disciple. You’re either solely committed to me or you’re not committed to me at all.”
What Jesus is laying out is both radical and revolutionary. In the plainness of his words, we can miss the deeper meaning that there will be rivals warring for supremacy over the throne of our hearts, but our love for King Jesus must defeat everyone. Even really important relationships. They can’t even be second place behind Jesus. Jesus only.
Jesus is not demanding that you literally hate your family. He is using hyperbole to illustrate the steep cost of following him. Anyone looking to follow Him must be glad to give up everything, to love him unreservedly — to sell all they have in order to have him as their highest treasure (Matt. 13:44–46).
Simply put, much like our affections for our spouse are reserved for them and them alone, our ultimate affection for Christ must be of such intensity and quality that, by comparison, all other loves seem like hate. Let’s face it, this makes total sense. As the God of the universe, following anything other than Jesus leads us astray. So this call is not a cosmic bully using fear and strong words to manipulate us to get our act together, it’s a beautiful call from our Savior to ward us off from being led down any path that doesn’t accomplish the will of God.
This “hate speech” is the most loving thing Jesus could call us to. So… do you hate your family?